Did You Know
Advice from a speech language pathologist and children’s book author about having inclusive conversations
By Kate Black, ’16 BA
Whether they communicate through gestures, devices or spoken language, pediatric speech language pathologist Bailey Oleksyn, ’19 BEd, ’21 MSc, knows that all kids have something special to offer. She also knows that finding the words to convey this to children can feel daunting.
That’s why Oleksyn wrote and published How Beautiful Our Brains Can Be, a picture book that illustrates the talents of seven children — including kids with autism, Down syndrome and selective mutism — who express themselves in ways that differ from their peers. Oleksyn, a former elementary educator, has seen how books are powerful tools for helping children accept themselves and others.
Building a foundation of respect, Oleksyn says, starts in conversations with the adults children trust most. With this in mind, she shares five tips on how to discuss neurodiversity and encourage empathy with the kids in our lives.
Oleksyn says there’s no need to complicate things by explaining neurodiversity in technical terms. Kid-friendly phrases like “everyone’s brains are different” or “some people’s brains help them learn, move and talk in different ways, and that’s what makes the world interesting” go a long way. Children often grasp these concepts right away — a good reminder of how easy it is to be inclusive.
“I’ve used some of this language with the children I work with,” Oleksyn says. “And they’re just like, ‘OK, sounds good!’”
Oleksyn has seen immense gifts in the children she works with: deep creativity, strong memories and innovative problem-solving skills. Encourage your child to celebrate the strengths of the neurodiverse kids they know as well. “Instead of focusing on challenges, point out what makes them shine,” Oleksyn says.
Maybe their classmate who uses an iPad to communicate tells great stories and hilarious jokes, for example. Or maybe their Autistic friend is a dinosaur expert — they’d probably be thrilled to share more dinosaur facts with your child if they asked.
Some of Oleksyn’s favourite inclusive reads include Pedro’s Whale by Paula Kluth and Patrick Schwarz, My Brother Charlie by Holly Robinson Peete and Ryan Elizabeth Peete and Different Like Me by Xochitl Dixon.
“Children’s books are great conversation starters,” Oleksyn says. “They allow kids to see characters with differences and build empathy in natural ways.”
Many children’s books also include extension activities to guide your discussion after finishing the story. Oleksyn’s How Beautiful Our Brains Can Be, for example, shares prompts and activities that get kids thinking about how they could be good friends to the characters featured in the story.
“It’s normal for kids to be curious,” Oleksyn says. The way we respond to their curiosity matters, too.
It can feel uncomfortable when a child asks questions about another’s differences, especially if we don’t know how to answer them or are afraid of saying the wrong thing.
Shutting down or shying away from these questions, however, implicitly teaches children that neurodiversity is a taboo subject and will make it more difficult for them to discuss it in the future. Instead, Oleksyn recommends enthusiastically welcoming a child’s questions. Together, you can brainstorm ways to kindly speak and act towards new people they meet.
For better or for worse, kids learn by watching adults. So, Oleksyn says, when kids see their family members and school staff using inclusive language, celebrating differences and welcoming diverse friendships, they’re more likely to do the same. “In everything you do, just do it with kindness.”
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